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28.11.12

ATTN: A blonde Sufjan Stevens is translating René Char and giving out free Xanax at Gate 32A


If I scratch your head I'll touch yours face
on forty-two face on channel Christian Bale if 
your hands melt blue for four if we could survive inverted if you sit next to me
can't believe they survived without her or me watching her things
what if it's a bomb what if it's Juicy terry cloth sweat pants ALY
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING IT COULD HAVE BEEN FUCKING ROHYPNOL
but not in such a public place not moving pretending to know a little bit John 
Cage and New Grace not felt nothing in one week why'd you start put it
in a poem or it didn't happen
my back's a gun or worse wet hair why did I wear fucking JEGGINGS
a bit duty
free of X-rays you can’t opt out with this time this coat was 1,000 DOLLARS where’s
guy with RVCA stickers and professional I swear
I’m not with my mom I swear I’m 
not making it easy for you to read I swear my professor’s a poet
thanks you know thank you for letting me read book with bad breath and spread in my bag
I’d give you this book but you know it’s worth 150 dollars


(Write a poem after taking a walk with no destination in mind. An airport on 11/26/2012. Also will be in my chapbook, Re: You'd be a horrible Mayan)

14.11.12

NBD 4 N.A.B.


Just     only         just a couple   minutos my cholita
just      you really are a GOD SEND but today I am busy
being a rare breed a special girl
can’t pick up like one of those fucking toy claw machines
got four initials four cool like that
I’m a special girl like every other girl
now hurt feelings   write better
not in my book! stick with the plan
since neck wrestling’s a tough sport it’s
what it’s like to have 1/3s of you split that 
take off shoes feel like shit
is YOUR life so busy you can’t put THAT in a poem?
god you’re never *in the moment*
but I’m feeling this be my stay at home mom
Mom’s right sleep comfortably in my XL twin
sorry not some DIIV song and
in advance getting fat during the winter 


(An excerpt from my forthcoming chapbook, Re: You’d be a horrible Mayan)

The Black Lips: They’re Good, Bad, but Not Evil (Ladygunn Fantasy Issue, Fall 2012)

Discovering that you are not as reverent, composed, or polished as the slightly debased gentleman who make up Southern garage punk band The Black Lips can be a little shocking

    “You know what boat stands for?” 29 year-old singer and bassist Jared Swilley asks as he treads water with a wrench in his hand. “Bring Out Another Thousand.”

The Loch Fyne has made it across Jamaica Bay with a busted rudder and five people over its recommended capacity. After all of the beer, tequila, and Percocet, I would say we have done pretty well for ourselves so far. 30 year-old vocalist and guitarist Cole Alexander and 28 year-old drummer and singer Joe Bradley are just becoming human following a two hour nap in the hull, while 35 year-old lead guitarist Ian St. Pe catches me up on their current tour as he moves his gold VICE ring up and down his finger.

"That was in our contract when we signed with VICE records," St. Pe says. "Only the big executives and owners get these rings, but we said we would only sign if we got them too."

Being the quintessential VICE band, the boys did not make it back to the Tribeca Grand until 7:00 AM after playing a 4KNOTS party the previous night. Aside from typical hungover irritability, Bradley has gracefully bowed out of taking any more photographs with the band, and he drawls about the current fucked up state of the nation.

From the dock we can still hear live music coming from the restaurant's patio where we had dinner, and St. Pe instantly recognizes the artist of the hit: Matchbox 20 à la acoustic guitar. It doesn't stand up to the Ramones playlist we were listening to on board, but it is a fitting soundtrack to the melodrama of Swilley trying to force the rudder out of reverse.



    When Koko told me I would be spending an afternoon watching The Black Lips wake board behind their friend’s boat, a faint taste of Bacardi and MAC Cyber lipstick resurfaced. Hopefully they wouldn’t remember me from Webster Hall last Halloween weekend picking up my roommate after she tripped over Bradley’s drum set, or that I somehow ended up backstage with my zombie face melting and their stolen beer in my arms.

Over a year since landing the cover of SPIN’s “Success Issue” and the release of their sixth studio album, Arabia Mountain, the Atlanta-based “road warriors” have hardly had the chance to settle down. But just because they are constantly on tour doesn’t mean their performances have become a processed package of sideshow antics.

“Crowds, you know, they can smell bullshit," St. Pe says, removing his shades. It is the first time any of us have seen his eyes today. "We’re a good and honest band and we do what we love. That’s why our fans like us."

Revered and criticized for their onstage fondness of urination, vomit, and indecent exposure (apologies to the family on the passing sail boat), the boys vow to be more than a bunch of monkeys throwing shit, or in this case, guitars, at each other.

“People [who think the only thing we do is party all of the time] can rest on their laurels,” Swilley says, water dripping from his American Apparel swim trunks.

“We open doors for girls, and people always think we’re crazy,” St. Pe adds. “But we’re really nice people. We’re very sweet. We talk a good game.”



     Hailing from the conservative suburb of Dunwoody, Georgia, where the generation before Swilley’s did not even drink in front of each other, the topics of sex and pornography are not easily delved into.

“Sex is a weird thing in the South. It’s something that’s not talked about that much. It’s very traditional,” Swilley explains.

Still, it was surprising to find that when it came time for Swilley and St. Pe to lose their virginities, neither of their experiences involved BDSM or cobra blood.

“My [first time] was with my first girlfriend,” Swilley says. “I was 14, and we were under the guise of ‘studying.’ We were upstairs and her mom came in after we had done it and my shirt was off. She was like, ‘Excuse me what are you guys doing?’ I was just like, ‘Thank God she didn’t come in 10 minutes ago.’”


“I was 15. I asked if I could stick it in,” St. Pe tells. “She finally said yes. It was to Nirvana's Nevermind. She had on green Docs—I didn’t take those off. They looked good, legs spread open with them on,” St. Pe laughs. “It was the first time you know. It was a learning experience.”

We can only hope that their first full Middle East tour can go as smoothly.The boys left on September 17 hitting Cyprus and continuing on to Egypt, the United Arab Emirates, Jordan, and Lebanon.

“We’re following the exact journey that Alexander the Great did through the Middle East. I’m not saying we’re conquerors, but...” Swilley shrugs.

“We’re on a mission,” St. Pe explains.

Though Syria had to politely decline the Black Lips’ invitation of spreading their message of acceptance and eternal love, Swilley is determined to make the stop.

“I have a huge wager with someone involved in the government over there on when Assad’s gonna fall,” Swilley laughs. “I have 50 bucks on two weeks, so let’s hope it falls because I need 50 bucks.”

After police chased them out of India in 2009 over some cultural misunderstandings during a performance in Chennai, you would think they would want to keep their escapades Stateside.

“That’s what our music’s all about though, bringing people together,” St. Pe declares.

“I think this Middle Eastern tour is going to be the muse for the next album,” Swilley adds. “It will spark a lot of inspiration. Hey, did you ever hear you can’t start a fire without a spark?”



The Loch Fyne finally coughs up water, and Swilley receives a weary round of applause. The rest of the editors finish up left over drinks they swiped from tables in the restaurant while Alexander and Bradley peel themselves off the floor of the dock.

“You should have asked me about my best sexual experience,” St. Pe says. “Though you need to get more liquor in me before that happens.”

As we head home, I decide to leave it at that. Some things really are better left off as fantasy.






Photos by Monet Lucky and Aly Vander Hayden